I’ll just stay lost in my own thoughts and coward off in pain while I wilt away in the things I’ve said that I can’t take back.
Loosely filling my aspirations and getting back to me eventually, letting this state of mind engulf me for a little bit longer because even tho I hate this feeling, it’s all I know.
The dark invites me and comforts me, loving me and coddles me. Feeling alone and lonely yet still remaining sane.
I accept my pain and relish in the high I receive from it. Not knowing when I’ll feel emotionally better and at this point, I don’t care.
Reading positive attributes with trying to create meaninful habits only draw me near my bed to relax and meditate that turn into me napping my days away.
Staying productive enough to get by, I am secluded causing a love hate type of situationship between trying to be happy and allowing depression to engulf me.
For every step, I feel I take forward, I am pushed two steps back. Damn if I do, Damned if I don’t.
So why try.