Deep within I’m trying to convince myself that everything I do, I do just fine. Oh I’m fine behind the lies. And in lust with despair. I crave to feel lost in a black hole with everything but a single care. I love the mixed emotions of not knowing when my feelings will be turned off. The numb evolution of my epiphany. Loose threads that mend my open rips. Closed grips that tend to my lips. Loosing my mind, I’m sounding in the midst on this grind. Gripping the realist reality trying to make sure I stay sane only to loose my membrane. Reality seeming so far away but I’m losing yet I’m winning. Cuz I just said chess mate. Making sure my throat is slit with such precision my words are no longer there. Mingling on the verge of death, I make sure my life is coming to end. Complete in the world I have left nothing to be missed. My energy flows thru the wind as my mind is finally at ease. Below the subtank of the memories within. You see me now that I am dead. Not literally but emotionally drained. I cry for help yet smile so the pain I show never really gets portrayed as the right path ahead. Willing to go and bend to make those around me smile. I’m ok. Their smiles deepen my grip on my world of diguise. Noone sees but are quick to scream. Let me explain. Yes I make you smile, I constantly check up on you. I ensure that your life is alright. Yet, deep inside I’m crying and lonely just not alone.