Supposedly Should Have Beens

When you were supposed to protect me, you mistreated me.
When I was supposed to be safe, you hurt me immensely.
When you and I were supposed to be held to standard of honesty and truth, I was lied to and betrayed.
When I was supposed to be made to smile, I was made to cry, scream and regret bringing you into my life.
When I was supposed to relish in your touch I started to cringe.
When I was supposed to allow myself to go to subspace, I was always on alert, starting to top from the bottom never allowing myself to fully let go.
When play time was supposed to be beautiful thing, it became nonexistent because of my emotional state.
When I was your little, I was to supposed to be none of that in which I was in reality. Rather than what I was supposed to be.
Now that trust is gone, I’m sad I gave a very important part of me to person that was such undeserving. Thinking, maybe my wants shouldn’t be wanted because all it seems to do is bring people in who hurt me.