Are you listening to me? Like really listening to me? Are retaining what I am saying because I am so tired of repeating myself. Sometimes i feel as though i am talking to a brick wall. In one ear and out the other. Not sure if my cries are being heard.
Maybe i should scream so you can really hear me? Say the words in a harsher tone. Maybe then will you take head to my tears filled with worries when i speak. How about if i throw objects while i am screaming. To catch your attention, so I know you are cautiously watching me and hearing what I am saying.
Or should i just stay mute with the hopes that you can read my mind. What if you could, how cool would that be? To know without me speaking, you know how I feel just by looking into my eyes and seeing the pain that resides. Will you look at me and know just how bad i am hurting inside.
Or should i just walk away, because i am tired of being ignored. Only commenting when you notice I am one step from walking away? Countless words being said with nothing but shock less faces the moment I actually show my hurt and it comes out in the worst way.
My words should never go unheard and for this, I feel like a ghost. Unseen and unheard. Wallowing in the background emotionally consumed by thoughts I never thought I’d feel. Mute and discouraged to communicate on things that should be foreseen. Lost within my mind because I’ve turned into this beast of destruction that only seems to flow from this whole in my face. I try and discern but clearly my vision is distorted because all I see is red. The color of pain.
My mouth cries quietly as I just walk away. Shouldnt be this way, however noone knows how to use their words. Left in an era where screaming is casually becoming the norm. Throwing things arent as abusive anymore and mute people are just unemotional.
Not sure where I go because I refuse to be apart of this normalcy.