Reaction to Actions

I can love you through all your mishaps, your sorries and fuck ups.

The moment my flaws started to show, it’s okay for you to walk away because you don’t like how you’re feeling?

Makes me regrets staying thru your bullshit of I’m trying and I’ll do better. All to keep the cycle of actions replaying.

Without better judgment, I have faith in change and knowingly knowing that it doesn’t happen overnight I gave you the benefit of the doubt.

My reaction of wanting to leave came from your actions that you act so ignorant of because you’re in your own world of lies and make believe.

In your mind, it’s completely different than reality and I should have foreseen this when my emotions and cries for change were changed into words that were never said, you interpreted in a way that would benefit you and to make me feel like I was wrong?

Reserve psychology even though I knew what was happening. I was being selfish of my own sadomasochism needs and wanted you no matter how much pain I endured.

Nevertheless, I’ve come grasp you never deserved me and for that. I’m truly walking away and nothing you say will ever bring me back.

Sucks I left reality and was living in a world where fabricated dreams of hope for us and change for you existed.

Now I’m back and there now are no longer grey areas. What you had, you’ll never have again.

To think I gave up my power for you when I wanted to leave but I let you hold me back and swing me back in your arms.

But because you can’t handle the hurt, I am left to my emotions of destruction. You can’t handle the broken hearted me that you created. Your mental can’t handle it so you bounce and leave.

Well as you wish, just know: I never left you no matter how many times I tried. When my mental wasn’t strong enough, I cried only to be unheard and left to sit in my own thread of feelings.

When you ask me to leave things how they are because I am me, I respect your boundaries. Makes me think of how selfish one has to be to ignore the signs of someone’s else’s mental health because I was being swallowed by dark hole every time you begged me to stay.

Yet, I’m always giving until I have nothing else to give and I’m left with absolutely nothing but a heartbreak full of goodbyes and a guy full of regrets. One day, I’ll be strong enough to leave someone the first time they hurt me instead of riding the train to a broken hearted sinkhole, I have to dig myself out of.