Magically
I was drawn to you, only to see the shift so drastically.
Was I ever enough? Was it all a bluff to swiftly sweep me off my feet.
The jagged words grazing my heart gradually. Slowly, tearing me down to build me back up.
Imagining with time, the baggage would manage. Instead, it felt like a dagger dragging me down.
Trauma dumped, instead of knowing your deepest desires. Emotionally drained, trying to be there for you, negating my own inner peace.
Moments passed that turned into seasons only to be right where we begin.
What was the reason? Pure intentions turning to impurities. Insecurities evolving.
Wolves hiding in the darkest shadows. I embraced the back n fourth as I understood that mindset the best.
My heart is hurting, and I’ve been crying, but I wipe my tears screaming: Love shouldn’t have hurt as much.
Addicted to love and claiming we are bad at love. Enabled the manifesting of my worst thoughts to evoke into my reality.
Roses with thorns and feeling as if knives held my spine in tact. Gracefully, I retract my emotions as my guards are surrounding my 9ft walls that barricade my heart.
Showed up with my own capacity, yet was there something more I could have done. Love isn’t easy. That I know for sure.
But I was treated like a drug. Broken down into a simple substance that created a false sense of happiness.
A tainted view that created false visions of what we could be. Withdrawals creating turmoil.
Giving what I felt was the best of me was being broken down into fragments I no longer conceived to be me.
To feel like a princess in one moment, then a beggar the next. A destiny I have felt too often.
Trying to break away only to have the door opened with no remorse.
Perceptions of my voice as only yelling when im only communicating, feels like I’m slowly turning into a soul with no voice.
Gripping onto memories, forgetting the issues, allowing me to try again, but for some reason, this time is different. So I refrain.
I walked out of the door you held open for me, with clear words stating not to return, so here I sit.
Alone with my misery, hoping I begin thriving before I wither away. Wearing a mask for those around me. You’d never know im truly hurting inside.
But thats a different story. Or so I tell myself.
Krazi Karma 